I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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