let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
