Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
