We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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