once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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