hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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