C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
