I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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