white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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