I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
