there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
