She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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