I'm going to jail i love you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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