I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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