There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
