my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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