Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
