Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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