Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
