I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
