i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
