I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
