His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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