just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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