No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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