What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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