Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
