dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
