We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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