everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
