are you so shy because you have an std?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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