Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am available for nakedness
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
