I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
