You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i barfeds in our rink
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
