I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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