Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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