I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
