OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
