please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
