So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
