So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
