Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
