So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
