I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
