i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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