Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
