So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
