Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
