Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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