addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize